Thursday, February 4, 2010

skywatch friday-a piece of thought

   sometimes,we tend to be happy even we are not sometimes,we tried to be strong even the truth is we are weak.......after weeks of mourning,here i am the pain of lossing a father still haunts me,i laugh, smile,talked just as i am used to be but the feeling deep down inside me is still crying.... crying for a father who asked his  youngest daughter before he died.i left my dad after ten days even on his crucial time,i know he will leave us very very soon but still i decided to go because i have to,and i have no choice.....after four days my dad passed away with the tears on his eyes looking for me,how can i ever forget that he asked me to decide on one big family issue,i am the youngest and yet he wants me to talked with everyone about his operation that everyone knows will only give him more trouble because his body is already to weak at that time,my dad knows it but he still insist for it,i want to give what he wish because i know it will make him happy for atleast on his last time i could give him what he wish for but my family refused and im the only one who wants it......

    to hard to move on when you know you just sit there and did nothing,some may say im useless like some  people say coz i just let my dad die with out the operation but in my opinion i know he is more happy now no more pains and sufferrings....because even the doctor says he may leave anytime for his body never accept any medication anymore,the feeling of  guilt is still on me,but, do i have to be guilty?am i wrong for not letting him have the operation?some say,i  did,we did the right thing but, whatever it is my dad already passed away and i have to move forward for there are still some missions for me to finish,anything what my dad started especially on SERVING THE PEOPLE for 20 yrs in my community,i may continue that in right time because for now i need more courage,time and effort....     there is one thing i can't forget with my dad,he may not be the perfect father for me but he is indeed a perfect father to teach us to love,respect ,have faith in God,to strive for our dreams and to believe that even the poorest person in the world could change his life if he got the guts and the courage to do it.  i will always miss  my dad and will always loved him.....






i took the pictures on my dad's last day of mourning at about 5 a.m.  as i look into the  sky bidding my last goodbye to him....
























for more skywatch friday click  here :

7 comments:

Lucy said...

Lovely and very compassionate pictures. I feel your pain.

lolit said...

i wish and pray that you can overcome this pain soon, take care of yourself. we love you.

ρομπερτ said...

Love does negate every distance - you, being probably a heaven upon earth for him, must go on, here, while looking up for him, into the sky providing light.
Very moving photography accompanied by impressive words.
Praying and wishing you a nice Friday.

Coffeeveggie addict. said...

@lucy,
thanks for the visit and for the nice word...i miss reading your blogs..



@ninang lolit,

thank you poh and i love you too.




@robert,
thank you for the visit and for your nice thought,i always love your words....

Misalyn said...

Hayyyy naiyak ako sa post mong ito sis...hay buhay....

Sana mabawasan na ang kalungkutan mo. Pati ang skies parang nakiluksa sayo ng araw na yun.

Take care sissy.

Coffeeveggie addict. said...

@MISALYN,
sana nga sis,di rin ako sanay ng malungkot pero minsan di ko talaga maiwasan na maiyak lalot napapagusapan ang tatay ko,gusto pa kase niya mabuhay kahit 3yrs at yun ang di ko makalimutan,ewan ko ba.....thanks sa pagdalaw,type ko bago mong gadget.

AL said...

No you're not guilty and useless, you just did the right thing, knowing you're Dad was too weak for the operation. I feel sad and I know how you feel right now. It's okay now, he feels better now with the angels, don't be sad.

AL

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